Forgiveness

  I felt a cold sweat sweep over me as she walked through the doors of the church.  How long had it been – five, maybe six years?  Yet, still at the very sight of her, the sting of her offense radiated through me.  Why was she here? Had she come to gloat and bring back all the hurt she had once been a part of.  All through service, I was on edge, pleading with God to just let me get though it, so I could go home and lick my old wounds that had now been reopened.  We had almost made it out the door when she stopped and asked to speak with us. I crumbled inside, while trying to keep an open composure as we sat down together. 

Then she began to cry.

  As the tears ran down her face, she confessed all that we knew she had done and some things that we weren’t even aware of.  She asked us to forgive her. 

My heart sank.

  I thought that I had, but judging from my attitude at her presence, it was apparent that I had not.  It was very easy to bury the hurtful memories away and move on. I told myself that moving on meant that I had forgiven.  However, what I felt at the moment she entered the room was anything but forgiveness.

Forgiveness is important because Jesus taught that we would not be forgiven unless we forgive.  I know I should.  I want to. But HOW do we forgive?  How do you tread though the ocean of hurt you are drowning in and make your way to the shore of forgiveness?

Matthew 18:21-22 (KJV)
²¹ Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?
²² Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.

Forgiveness is a verb, not an emotion.  We choose to forgive.  Everyday we must choose to walk in forgiveness eventually, feelings will follow, but first it must be a choice.  When asked how many times we are to forgive, Jesus said we are to choose to forgive 70x7.  He knew that forgiveness would take time. That it would be a daily process, so he encouraged us not to give up but to keep choosing daily to walk in forgiveness. How many times will it take until your feelings follow –who knows?  But I bet you won’t get to 490 days.

In Matthew 5:44 there are three instructions given that help you know you are walking in forgiveness. 

Matthew 5:44 (KJV)
⁴⁴ But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;

  Love your enemies-

  Seems like an impossible thing to do.  How do you feel love for someone that hurts you and wouldn’t loving them be like saying whatever they did was not wrong?  The love spoken of here is not the same kind of love that comes naturally.  It’s not the same love you feel for your children or someone who loves you back.  Without getting too deep, it is simply a benevolent love - a love that is decidedly given.  It is a love that is given by which we wish well for a person, but cannot approve of their conduct.  It is a love that causes us to have compassion for their weaknesses.  It is love that causes us to speak kindly of them and to them and to return good for evil as Romans 2:17 reminds us to do.

 Bless them that curse you –

  The word bless here means “to speak well of” or “speak well to” -Vine’s Expository Dictionary.  We speak only of those things that we can commend in them.  If there’s nothing that we can commend, then we speak nothing about them at all.

Pray for them that despitefully use you –

  Translated this means those that injure you, unjustly accuse you, pursue or follow after you and oppress.  Hmm, how and what do you pray for someone like that?  I can think of some prayers that I would like to pray but they wouldn’t necessarily fall into line with loving and blessing!  If I’m honest,  I admit that I have found myself pleading with God to bring justice and then pleading with God to have mercy on those that I know have been disobedient because I know that God is just. I am conflicted.  Why? Because I am concerned with what doesn’t concern me.  I must let go and leave room for God to do what He will do.  I must do what He wants me to do.  Pray for them with a heart that understands that God wants to use them (what they have done) to do something new in me.   As I allow these things to mold me into what He wants me to be, I can accept all that has been and I can pray this prayer:

Bless my enemies, O Lord. Even I bless them and do not curse them.
Enemies have driven me into your embrace more than friends have.
Enemies have loosed me from earth more than friends have…
Enemies have made me a hunted animal, finding safer shelter than an unhunted animal does.

I found safest sanctuary in You…may too my enemies-made-grace.
I found greatest grace in You… may my enemies-made-grace find Your generous grace alive and radical in me.
I found fullest forgiveness in You… may my enemies-made-grace find faith and freedom in You and Your forgiveness working surprising ways in me.

The longer I walk with you, Lord, I find I have no enemies: only your gift of chisels etching me deep.
Bless my enemies, O Lord. Even I bless them and do not curse them.

(This prayer is taken from http://www.incourage.me/2011/05/when-youve-been-wounded-cheated-disappointed-heartbroken.html  an awesome devotional website for women) Pin It

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