On December 3rd, I sat in the waiting room at Duke Hospital.
The transplant surgery had started early that morning and we were awaiting news
of how things were going. I knew we
would hear news about my mom first and then it would be awhile before we knew about
Ed. We had been given a vibrating pager, as if we were waiting for a table at
a restaurant. We were told when the pager lit up and vibrated; we were to go to the desk for the medical staff’s update.
Until then we were just to sit and wait.
Worth the Wait! |
Waiting has never been one of my finest abilities. Some people seem to be really good at
it. My husband is one of them. I
remember when we were adopting each of our girls. The wait was long (fifteen months for Claire
and two years for Ella). Ed was
perfectly content to look forward to the day and let things just unfold as they
should.
I was a wreck.
I had an almost constant twitch in my eye and indigestion. I couldn’t
sleep or eat.
The wait was excruciating for me. There were a lot of unknowns but I knew
in the end we would have a child no matter how long it took to get there or
what it might be like when we did. The
wait was more than worth it.
But this wait was different.
The waiting room was filled with people. I am an avid people watcher. As I sat there, I couldn’t help but notice
the faces of so many and wonder what there stories were and who they were
waiting for. I remember one lady in
particular whose husband was in surgery as well. She had gotten word that things
weren’t going well.
There is nothing like the mixture of grief, worry, fear,
hopefulness, and prayers that are found in a hospital waiting room.
It is almost palatable.
People clinging to their pager willing it to vibrate …..
but afraid of what they might
hear when it does.
It’s in the waiting
that faith is really put to the test.
And as I sat there…
I have never been so thankful for friends and family who sat
with us for hours so we wouldn’t wait alone.
I have never been so thankful for the prayers of the saint
who were covering us that day.
I have never been so thankful for a peace that passes all
understanding and guards my heart and mind in Him.
If there is one thing I have learned in the waiting rooms of life, is
that waiting is all about what we allow our minds to do. In the waiting, we
tend to want to fix our minds on what we are waiting for –good or bad. Most of
the time when we do that it only produces things like worry, anxiety,
discontentment, fear... But the key is to fix our minds the One who sits right
beside us in the waiting room. He is who
keeps us at peace.
3 You will keep in perfect
peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you! Isaiah 26:3
(NLT)
Knowing that He is there…
Makes me thankful that I am never waiting alone
Makes me thankful that he has covered this day in His blood
Makes me thankful that as I set my mind on Him and His Words my mind I
wait in perfect peace…even as I watch my own pager light up and vibrate.
At the beeper alert, I think my body jumped
up and was half way to front desk before my mind had a chance to catch up, my
dad following closely behind me. Mom was
out of surgery and doing well. We were able to see her and she was awake and
talking – her first words being “How’s Ed?” in her usual unselfish manner. Aside from some normal swelling she looked
well.
Ed would follow a few hours later. There were some difficulties finding a place
for the new kidney because of his existing kidneys being so large but they
eventually found a way and the new kidney (we call her “Agnes”) began to
function immediately. He was placed in
ICU which was normal procedure but he was awake and talking coherently …well,
as coherently as possible on a morphine drip!
The next 24 hours would be crucial for both of their recoveries, so my
dad and I were sent home to let them get some rest and get a little rest
ourselves…peace had guarded me through that day but holding on to it through
that first night would prove to be difficult.
“Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be
removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of
peace be removed," says the LORD, who has compassion on you.”
“[If
you preserve sound judgment & discernment]...You can go to bed without
fear; you will lie down and sleep soundly. You need not be afraid of sudden
disaster or the destruction that comes upon the wicked, for the Lord is your security. He will keep your
foot from being caught in a trap.” Proverbs 3:24 - 26
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